Now Playing Tracks

5fingers5rings: THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS! AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED. AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE. AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK. AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE. WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED. BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT. THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR. AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE. AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS. I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES. THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY. WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE. WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS. I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU. HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES. UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER. TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART. HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.
Zoom

5fingers5rings:

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

472,885 notes

via Most of the time, I crack myself up.
  1. liesofzombies reblogged this from randomhatthief
  2. skyjenny reblogged this from nothinkingallowed
  3. rosekun reblogged this from e13g
  4. whatmakesyoufree reblogged this from oh-for-godssake-niall
  5. istariadragon reblogged this from sigery97 and added:
    Hey I’m in agreement here sigs ♥♥
  6. onwardswemarched reblogged this from sollisp
  7. bookip123 reblogged this from thegrimreaperofbutts
  8. killalltheviolentpeople reblogged this from kim-diehl
  9. thegrimreaperofbutts reblogged this from kim-diehl
  10. kim-diehl reblogged this from e13g
  11. angel-of-believe reblogged this from fck-h8
  12. moonibutts reblogged this from the-spider-sylph
  13. fck-h8 reblogged this from thechurch-channel
  14. crackpipesneedlespcpandfastcars reblogged this from be-come-one
  15. sigery97 reblogged this from e13g and added:
    Hey Via~
  16. shes-so-bendable reblogged this from oh-for-godssake-niall
  17. iwishworld reblogged this from teenagecutterissues
  18. oh-for-godssake-niall reblogged this from an-amerrickan-idiot
  19. an-amerrickan-idiot reblogged this from alexander-william-gayscarf
  20. littlefoxflame reblogged this from alexander-william-gayscarf
  21. alexander-william-gayscarf reblogged this from nevertoopunkrockforjesus
  22. nikkikronic reblogged this from swaggeristical
  23. dance--fucker--dance reblogged this from nevertoopunkrockforjesus
  24. matt-matt-matt-matt-matt reblogged this from saunteringvaguely-downwards
  25. justabrokendownmess reblogged this from theinvincibleplopper and added:
    I love you too Adam :’) haha
  26. outdated-and-overrated reblogged this from nevertoopunkrockforjesus
  27. thisisnoteden reblogged this from encryptionmodus
  28. the-spider-sylph reblogged this from randomhatthief
  29. jefthor reblogged this from theothermeiscagey
  30. e13g reblogged this from randomhatthief
To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union